ME!
Challenge Scenario #1: he has to deal with my cryptic mood swings that alternate between sullen silence and childish babble.
So, after I had a bad day for (almost) missing a deadline, he sent me a funny Indie Rock song, volunteered to wash my dishes, or promised to watch the Colbert Report with me.
That is his way of saying "Everything will be alright."
Challenge Scenario #2: he has to learn how to be deadpan.
When we made chicken vegetable soup for a Easter pot luck, we decided to play a joke and name it "Chinese Fifteen-Spice Bunny Soup" in honor of the holiday mascot.
Blake anticipated the fear and terror in people's eyes and rehearsed his perfect response:
"If people ask me, 'Is this really BUNNY Soup?' We should say, 'No, it's not. [Long awkward pause.] IIIIt's a RABBITTTT!'"
Then he laughed at his own joke and drifted away in his imagination of a standing ovation at an Oscar reception.
But in the end, he was the one who abandoned the plan and revealed the truth because he has a heart of gold and just can't lie.
Yes, he can stage the most savage loot in Catan with the flip of a hoarded monopoly card.
But he cannot keep a straight face in a prank, any prank.
Challenge Scenario #3: he has to guess what I like.
Blake classifies movies and TV shows into (1) the Shijie-would-hate-it-because-it's-scary category; (2) the Shijie-would-love-it-because-it's-cute category; and (3) the It-probably-won't-hurt-because-it's-silly-and-Shijie-is-silly category.
The rough classification system usually works. Blake knows well that I will not join him in his favorite hodge-podge of aliens, cowboys, vampires, zombies, Abraham Lincolns, metal people, and wobbly elderly action heroes, all of which fall within the unforgivable category (1).
Driven by his paternal instinct, Blake uncharacteristically BANNED me from watching the Game of Thrones.
You cannot give me a Honey Badger T-shirt saying "It just takes what it wants" and at the same time shield me from possibly the greatest show of this season!
He eloquently explained that it's HBO production (which is self-explanatory in itself); it's violent; it's bloody; it is not cute; it's nothing like How to Train a Dragon; it is really not cute; many people died; many more will die; people who died are not really dead; etc.
But he was wrong this time.
Honey Badger doesn't care!
I have a trick to deal with the precise dilemma HBO posits: I am born with eye shutters and hand-ear muffs.
Problem solved.
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Before Blake left for Spain, we went to a Chinese restaurant and watched the movie Up together.
Pixar never fails to tug my heart strings. Probably the most memorable scene from Up is when a gigantic bouquet of colorful balloons bursts out of the chimney, sending Carl, the grumpy widower, and his house soaring into the sky, up and away and off to an adventure in South America.
Carl embarked on an unexpected journey of self-discovery without his beloved wife Ellie. He somehow became the grandfatherly figure for Russell, the portly Asian boy scout; the guardian of Kevin, a lanky squawking bird; and the master of Dug, a slobbering yellow furball.
In the end, Russell had to throw out the furniture, appliances, and keepsakes that carried many memories of Ellie to keep the house lightweight, afloat, and combat-appropriate.
Let go.
For something in the present.
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I have bad habits, old clothes, deterring assumptions, and lingering fears that I should let go. Before I got my wisdom teeth out, Blake said, "There are things maybe you and I thought were impossible, but you did it, because you can."
Things like getting a driver's license, seeing a dentist, having a paper published, being on time, washing the dishes, going to bed early, eating non-leftover, installing the printer, making friends, being kind, not freaking out are probably tiny baby steps for mankind.
But they are great leaps for me.
Now I am adding the Game of Thrones to my list of remarkable personal feats.
For mankind, having someone brave enough to marry me and explore the unknown is as giant and groundbreaking a leap as sending someone to walk the moon.
Thank you for making me happy, putting up with me, and changing me for good, if not for the better.
“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
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