I went to Phoenix today, for an interview. I just had a cliff bar and was feeling peaceful. While I was waiting for the Arizona shuttle, two rednecks got into a fight and tried to stare each other down. One almost pulled out a gun from his car. I was seriously frightened and hiding under the table. Oh well, Arizona. Please don't shoot me before I get a job.
The interview went well. The judge reminded me of so many people, all in that small frame. She read my writing samples very closely and left numerous hand-written notes all over the margin. We talked about the GPS technology, crime prevention, police stalking, privacy interest, etc. I was glad that I spent the whole semester wrestling with those issues, so at least I was somewhat prepared. She also appeared quite impatient with candidates just scratching the surface. She would go straight into the heart of every activity listed on my resume, "What did you learn from it?"
The one question that threw me off guard from her was: How do you see glass ceilings for female attorneys? I must have bitten my tongue when I heard her. There were so many instances where I felt I have been limited in an extremely uncomfortable way, like the time when the criminal law professor congratulated me for being the "only" unlikely one to write onto the law review, like the time interviewers condescendingly asked me "Don't you feel that Tucson is too small for someone like you?", like the time I received an empty promise for a recommendation letter.
Sometimes I don't know whether the barriers are there necessarily because I am a female, I am a Chinese Chinese, I have no connections in Arizona, I am too good to be true, none of the above, or all of the above. I need to eliminate too many "interfering" characteristics of mine and control too many variables to figure out: What went wrong? Am I too peculiar? Or is this your problem?
Luckily, the judge extended me the offer right after our interview. On my way back to Tucson, I looked out the window and saw the long stretch of barren, empty, flat land of Arizona. I started to picture me driving through this desert to see my babe.
And maybe, I would be greeted by a kitty cat by then.
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